Wednesday, May 19, 2010

To live and not die

I wasn't planning to post today but something happened yesterday that changed that. While driving to work I was heavy-hearted. Those of you who know me also know I am prone to bouts of depression. The Lord has blessed me because I never think of doing harm to myself. I know a lot of people with depression think of suicide often. Some even attempt it. Some... succeed. When the Lord speaks to me, I do not hear an audible voice. It is more of a strong impression that comes all at once. No, I'm not psychic or clairvoyant, and I don't have a magic wand. What I do know is someone out there is thinking about ending their life right now. This is for you.

My heart is severely pained within me, And the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, And horror has overwhelmed me. So I said, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest. Indeed, I would wander far off, And remain in the wilderness. Selah I would hasten my escape From the windy storm and tempest.”
(Psalm 55:4-8)

I know how David felt when he wrote this. He cries out to God because there is no one left to cry out to. Knowing what I know about David he probably cried out to God before anyone else. David did have one important advantage right here. He knew that he and God made a majority. Anytime you add God to the equation you end up with a majority. You feel so alone and so helpless. You cry out too. Don't you? He is waiting to hear from you. He wants you to pour your heart out to Him! Hearts are His business!

Maybe you think you have had enough. You want out. You want to end it and life be over with. I have a few personal thoughts for you. First thought..don't!! I have sat with people and held their hands while they grieved the death of someone who committed suicide. I have tried to encourage and help them to believe it wasn't their fault. I always...ALWAYS!!! fall short of this goal. Such a waste. It rips their hearts out!! Since I have been in this situation a few times I finally came to the conclusion that those who kill themselves are some of the most selfish people of all. There is no consideration for those they leave behind. If there were, they would live and be there for them.

Second thought...while my depression is chronic, it does come in spells. I usually wait them out. I even fight back. Yes, I am battle scarred and walk with a limp...but I am more than a conqueror!! Jesus is so very faithful!! I posted before on this subject and you can read that here. Because I have been through depression, I have a special love for those who suffer it. In many respects it has made me a more compassionate person. If I am having a really bad time I try to rally prayer support from those who love me.

Third and last thought...the breath of life which God breathed into Adam is holy. That breath of life has been perpetuated through time till it became your turn to live. Please do not kill that holy thing of God! If you only knew how much He loves you. He wants to be there for you to guide and prosper you. He wants you to live and not die!! (Psalm 118:17) Before you do this thing you cannot undo...won't you talk with Him? It could only help and certainly do no harm.

My email is on my blogger profile if you need a human to talk to. You are welcome to use it. All I know is God loves you enough to make me pull my car over and pray for you. If He doesn't care then that's hard to explain.

Father, I come to you and ask you to reach out to the one for whom this is intended. Give them a chance to choose life instead of death. Reach into their heart and give them hope and assurance. Replace the despair they feel with joy and peace. Give them a sound mind and help them keep their eyes on you. I pray you will intervene in this situation, Lord. I have your assurance this is what you wanted me to do. I thank you for the opportunity. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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